51 | FuckFace Whisperer

I hate reliving this. Hate is an understatement. I’ve tried to forget about this 24 hours of my life so many times but its truly difficult. This guys name was Jake* I have known him for year, since I was 13 and he was 16. He used to date one of my best friends in high school and randomly got in contact with me over Instagram after about 15 years. Crazy huh? I thought so too, but I also thought why not, i know the guy, whats the harm. Naive as fuck.

Everything started out great, which is why when it went south i was pretty confused. I invited him to my place on a Saturday night, it was around 8:00 for some drinks and too catch up, it had been a while. I didn’t realize he had hardly changed. He was still dealing and doing drugs and when he showed up to my house he wasn’t short on supply. So at my place we ended up drinking and chatting for hours, of course taking make out breaks. The sexual tension was real and the drugs and liquor were making it more intense. At about 1 am we headed to my bedroom and began fucking. He went down on me, i hardly remember it. I blew him and the second i did it was honestly like he didn’t want anything else except for me to constantly suck his dick. I wanted to be fucked so i insinuated that. We had some pretty rough sex, he was choking me and slapping my ass and fucking me really really hard. We were so strung out on blow that we ended up having sex on and off until about 8 am. Not ever actually going to sleep once. By the time the sun came up he was worried about losing money on his drug deals and wanted to get back to his ‘trap house’ oh god shoot me for even writing that but thats what he called it. He told me that he really wanted me to come with him back there and that we could take a nap because i was going on about how i was tired i mean we hadn’t slept at all and we’d been doing vigorous exercise for the last god knows how long. He was insistent and made it sound like it would be nice. It was far from that.

We got into a cab out front of my house and the second it pulled away i felt my stomach fall out of my ass. Not literally but it was as if my gut was already warning me that this was the wrong choice. We got out of the cab and we started walking to his place as we walked this guy brushed past us and happened to accidentally knick his shoulder which set buddy off, he started yelling at this guy and they were on the verge of getting into a fight when because 1. i was way to high to entertain this and 2. i hate seeing being fight, its just not really my thing.. i walked away. As soon as i started to walk away it like his anger shifted from this random dude to me, he just started going off on me yelling stuff like, “he’s obviously not gonna hit me if my girls walking away, some kind of girl you are you don’t even have my back.. yada yada all this shit” and because i have no idea where the fuck i am i follow him to his place even as he’s screaming profanities at me. When we get up to his place i sit down on the end of his bed, his place is literally a hole in the wall. Just the basics and shitload of drugs, its a nice modern basic place though. He keeps going off at me about how uncool that was and all i can do is sit there an apologize and ask him if he wants me to leave. He coming down from his high so he’s not making much sense and dodging the questions, all as he’s weighing out drugs, he swiftly gets up grabs the drugs he weighted out and says ill be back in 5 minutes and leaves me in this fucking apartment. At this point I’m also coming down from the drugs so I’m just sitting there twiddling my thumbs waiting for him to come back as well as let whatever the fuck was going on sink in. I didn’t even take the time to look around much until he got back, closed the door and put a code in a keypad which then locked us in the apartment from the inside. FUCK.

I was scared. At this point I had no idea what to do. I also forgot to mention that because i went major over my phone bill with the data the previous month my dad had cut it off for this month and buddy didn’t have wifi or another room for me to make a call in so even if i wanted to tell someone to help me or come and get me they wouldn’t get the text until my phone reached wifi which i had no idea when that was going to be. I tried to be calm about the situation but i was still shook up about what had just happened outside. He tried to comfort me by cuddling and kissing me but i was so high and so scared and so turned off that i knew my only option was to go with it or he could potentially hurt me. He was scary, angry, unpredictable and i needed to figure out how to get control of the situation. The only way i knew how was to give him what he wanted which was to have sex with me again. He started fucking me in his bed being all rough and saying the most bizarre shit, making me choke on his dick and then he flips me on my back and tells me he wants to fuck me in the ass. I look him dead in his eyes and say no, i don’t want to do that right now and he starts begging me. When i say begging i mean like begging and pleading with me. I said fine but only for a second and when i ask you to stop stop. So he said okay, and proceeded to slam his dick in my tight asshole, not even prepping me. He went in and out a few times and then i said please stop i don’t want to do this anymore. He didn’t listen to me. He continued to slam his dick in my ass so i proceeded to scream, and by scream i mean wail at the top of my lungs. Not even on purpose, i was screaming because i was in pain and i didn’t want to be there. As so as i started screaming he pulled out of me and pushed me onto the floor and started yelling at me, “Don’t fucking scream like that my neighbors are going to call the cops and think I’m raping you.” Well i had nothing to say to him besides that i asked him to stop and told him i was in pain. I went to the bathroom and put my head in my hands and screamed with no voice, i just wanted out of there so badly and i couldn’t. When i came out of the bathroom he was sitting on the bed apologizing profusely but it didn’t make anything better. I wanted to leave but once again he wouldn’t let me. He referred back to the reason we came there in the first place, to nap. So we napped.

I crawled unwillingly into that bed and fell asleep. Because i hadn’t slept the night before i literally slept all day. When i woke up in his place in was 8:00 at night, and i was starving, and i had to work the next day, and i had no idea where i was. When he woke up i told him i was going to get food and he had to let me out. He insisted on taking me for food. He wanted to come with me. So we walked to this restaurant nearby, on the way there he started fighting with me again, arguing with me and taking digs at me so i looked at him and said that i didn’t even want to eat anymore and that i just wanted to go home. He started yelling at me in the street ” fine you slut, go home, your just a whore anyways.” So loud as my back is turned against him and there are people everywhere staring. I was so embarrassed i didn’t turn back i just kept walking. In a matter of 3 seconds his arm grabbed my arm and again he start apologizing profusely. “babe I’m so sorry, common lets just go get food, forget about that, i didn’t mean that.” All that was running through my mind was that i needed to get somewhere that had wifi so that i could call/message someone to fucking save me. We finally got to the restaurant and sat down. The second we did, i connected to the wifi and texted one of my best friends who has a big and scary boyfriend. I told her where i was and that i needed her to come get me, i figured the only way he was going to let me leave is if someone came to get me. Even at the restaurant he continued to argue with me. There was a black and white movie playing on the tv behind him and i was admiring it and saying out loud how i loved black and white films, he retorted with ” you would say some artsy shit like that, i hate artsy people and shit i just don’t get it or them and we don’t get along.” I looked at him and was like are you fucking retarded.. I’m an artsy person so what are you doing sitting across the table from me. He started getting mad that i was getting mad, stormed off from the table and when he did i asked the waitress if when our food came she could bring the bill, i wanted out and i wanted out now. He came back to the table and said that his friend was coming to pick US up and take US somewhere. Thats when i stopped him and told him that i was not doing that, that i was going to stay at the restaurant until my friend came and got me. He was pissed and said fine. It was funny, as he was paying for the food, the waitress stood behind him and mouthed to me between her fake lips, ” are you okay?” to which i mouthed back NO to which she pout frowned back a pathetic, “I’m sorry” before walking away. When he was finished paying we left the restaurant, I waited just at the front as we said our goodbyes, me very well knowing that i was never going to see this fuck again. Him sitting there going on about how he had such a good time and yada yada. Good time my ass. that was the worst 24 hours of my life, and i had a fucking bruise on my chest for the next week in memoriam. When my friend and he boyfriend finally arrived i crawled into the back of his truck and just burst into tears. I was so happy to be with people that i wanted to be with.

In the following weeks he proceeded to constantly message me to hang aka fuck and when i wouldn’t respond he would send me texts saying stuff like ” you should have sex for money you fuck guys anyways” and then when i wouldn’t respond to that he would follow up with “sorry I’m an asshole, that was rude.” I never responded to him. What the fuck made him think i would?

Honestly i keep having to ask myself am i the Fuckface Whisperer?

XO, you’ll never know.


3 thoughts on “51 | FuckFace Whisperer

  1. Gosh! That was so heart wrenching and uncomfortable to read. I honestly hope you’re doing okay!

    Dude seriously you need to be careful! For what its worth, here’s to thinking about you being better. That’s all I can say.

    Liked by 1 person

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